but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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