he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
