Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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