i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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