So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I think i got beer on your cat.
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