belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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