hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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