my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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