It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
