Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
