weddingsv make me drug and hornr
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
