she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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