spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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