I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
found the other keg... it's in the tree
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
