then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
