i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
