You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
