well you can't waste a boner
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
