his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
