YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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