It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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