I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
love makes seman taste better
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
