Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
