I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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