They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
