my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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