You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I should be sponsored by Trojan
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
