You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
