What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Randomize
