Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
