I just made out with a guy for $7.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
