SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
