I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
More tranny stories later!
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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