Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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