I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
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