i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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