Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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