I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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