She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
