You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
