needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
