you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
