Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
The best revenge is premature balding
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
