"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
