i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
