I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
