I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
