I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
