Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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