my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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