4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
