It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
