After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
