It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
